Smile. The E.N.D.

Argh. Hati seperti dicarik carik oleh batu tumpul. Segalanye seperti pasti. Aku dah x mampu menipu diri. Senyuman semakin plastik, dan ketawe seperti senamrobik. Tinta menitis di atas Luh Mahfuz bahawa semua ini akan berlaku, dan aku hanya mampu berfikir akan laluan yang telah diletakkan aku di atasnya. Dan mustahil untuk aku menafikan kebesaran tinta-Nya, maka bersenyumlah dan kembali berfikir tentang segalanya. Hikmah. Penabahan diriku. Kecundangkah aku hanya kerana sebuah senyuman yang bukan ditakdirkan untukku? Dan matikah aku kerana hati meninggalkan nadi? Jika Tuhan janjikan aku bidadari di syurga, atau ular batu di neraka?

For the first time in my life, I cried not because of a death. I cried for something I smiled before. The smile every time I closed my eyes, and saw her there. No, she was never with me. I never even know her smell, but from my eyes, from my ears of hearing her voice sometime, I saw the beauty of the world. A voice that can make my heart smiling himself.

How stupid I am to think of her... she's too noble that she even answered my call everytime I call...well, not everytime. And she even smile when she answered it, because she's such a nice girl. Once she said that he’s just a friend, I agreed with her says, and I'm so stupid. And all of sudden, it was Too Phat. Don’t ever trust them when they said that he’s just a friend. But, I’m her friend, still, and he is my friend too. Should I destroy the friendship with her, and him, so that I can no longer thinking of her? There’s no more laugh can be created for her, as nothing will go honestly for me anymore. Macam poyo, but remain cool and smile, when in fact the heart seems no longer beating? How I wish to die, and find a place somewhere there, if I could. God, send me somewhere so that I can delete her from my memory. And, let her live happily until she closed her eyes, and smiling. If she knows this, I wanna thank her for this little piece of smile she gave me, and you man, look for her, and keep her smiling for the rest of her life.

P/S: Keep the smile behind the tears.